After going abroad to understand the meaning of growth, the international class students readme from the previous day more Bowen, to now basically a year, because a long time did not write Chinese, some idioms can not remember what is, very regret in mind. Over the past decade, more than 80 blogs have written off my ten years of growth. Fail and be proud. Transferred to New York this year, and went to a university with a good reputation. The new school probably needs to adapt. I still miss the old school, and I don’t think I’ll ever meet the friends who let me out of the shadow. Five years ago, Chinese people think that only the study is not good to go out, go out after all nobody lead a gay life. Until now, all the students tell their own hard journey, a nose a tear, full of ambition, convinced that their success is built in amazing misery. They didn’t say anything wrong, just a little exaggeration. There are people who spend seventy thousand or eighty thousand dollars a year, really live without eating and drinking, but don’t want to be with those who have money and not read. Hypocrisy is human nature. So two years abroad, I asked myself whether I am satisfied with myself now. The answer is yes. From seventeen, go to Korea alone, go to Boston, New York, London, Paris, Provence, Tokyo, Osaka and so on. I’m nobody else lucky. I’ve always been a man. In the journey, I know interesting people, terrible people, greedy people, learning music, art history, Japanese, all of these, accumulated today’s own, not surprised, not pleased, calm and calm. Really, in fact, a person for a long time, really get used to, and enjoy. From junior high school to the toilet must be accompanied by people, and now into a senior restaurant alone calm, the taste of this, the feelings of the heart, I do not know how to describe, I do not know where to start. The days of studying abroad are really lonely. I have a high school classmate can not adapt, suffering from depression. Another student, who was not suited to Carnegie Mellon University, was told that he was almost out of school. In this era, everyone is asking for what to study abroad. Domestic bad, go out to stick foreigner’s ass what?. Honestly, I don’t know. See the world? Exercise yourself? Why? I don’t know. I don’t want to figure it out. I just felt vaguely that the buried answer was something I didn’t want to know. I think I am. What can I do with these questions?. I got my driver’s license last year and drove myself nearly twenty hours by myself this year. I was really scared. I was afraid of my own car, I was afraid of dozing, and I was afraid of those. I always say to myself, exercise myself, learn to be independent. But I often wonder why I’m doing this, and if I hadn’t filled in the international class when I filled in the class table, wouldn’t my life be completely different?. I can watch the drama in my home during the summer vacation. I can go back to my hometown to see grandma and grandpa during the winter vacation. When my grandfather was ill, I could visit at least. Life is really confused..

出国后才懂得成长的含义 国际班学生自述   从以前日更博文,到现在基本一年一次,由于许久没写过中文了,一些成语早想不起来是什么,心中十分遗憾。十几年的时间,八十多篇博客,断断续续写出了我这十年的成长。失败得意都有过。   今年转学到了纽约州,上了一个名声还不错的大学。新学校大概需要适应。现在心中仍然怀念旧学校,大概是觉得自己一辈子再也不会碰到那些让我能从乖宝宝的影子中跑出来的朋友了。   前五年,国人认为只有学习不好的才出去,出去后都是花天酒地,没人管。到现在,各种留学生诉说自己的艰辛路程,一把鼻涕一把眼泪,壮志满怀,坚信自己的成功都是建立在惊天地泣鬼神的悲惨经历。   他们说的不全错,只不过略有夸张罢了。哪有花着七八万美金一年的人,真的过得没吃没喝的日子,不过是不想与那些“有钱不读书的人”为伍而已。人性虚伪,便是如此。   那么出国这两年,我问我自己,是否对现在的自己满意。   答案是肯定的。从十七岁自己一个人去韩国,到一个人去波士顿,纽约,伦敦,巴黎,普罗旺斯,东京,大阪等等。我没有其他人幸运,我从来都是一个人。在旅途 中,我认识有趣的人,可怕的人,贪欲的人,学习音乐,艺术史,日语,这一切的一切,积淀了如今的自己,不惊不喜,从容坦然。   真的,其实一个人久了,真的就习惯了,并且享受着。从初中上洗手间都一定要有人陪着,到现在独自进一家高级餐厅的坦然,这其中滋味,心中的感受,我不知道如何描述,也不知从何说起。   留学的日子确实孤独的很。我已有一高中同学适应不了,患了忧郁症。还有一同学在卡内基梅隆大学不适应,听说差点被退学。这个时代,所有人都在问留学是为了什么。国内不好么,出去贴洋人的屁股干嘛。   说实在,我也不知道。见见世面?锻炼自己?到底是为什么,我不知道,也不想去弄清楚。只是隐隐觉得,那个埋藏的答案是我不愿知道的。大概自己已是如此,想这些问题又能做什么呢。   从去年拿了驾照,到今年自己独自一人开了将近二十小时的车程。我真的很害怕,我害怕自己车子出事,害怕自己打瞌睡,害怕这些那些。我总是对自己说,锻炼自 己,学会独立。可是我时常会想,为什么我要做这些,如果当年自己在填分班表的时候没填国际班,是不是我的人生完全都不一样了。我可以在暑假的时候在自己家 里看剧,可以在寒假的时候回老家看姥姥姥爷。在姥爷生病的时候,我至少可以去探望。   日子过得真的很迷茫啊。   我认真的学习,认真的玩,认真的锻炼,认真的吃。我努力过好每一天的生活,努力对得起自己每一分的生命。可是心里总是觉得没劲。日子过得没意思,就像洒到地上的水,几分钟后就蒸发了,一点痕迹都没有。   其实我真的有时候希望自己像我国内的朋友,谈个朋友,随时在朋友圈晒个食物,吐槽一些国内的电视剧,开开心心,没心没肺,什么都不用想。   可是我已对这些生活基本的欲望都觉得十分无趣。大概是自己这个年龄仍有点无病呻吟的感觉。   人生活的太清楚,便失去了意思。糊涂的日子,是最简单美好的。   可我已适应不了糊涂的日子,也不愿过清楚的日子。相关的主题文章:

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